Answering a Question

Barrett Wilson

Professor Dilbeck

ENGL 1100, COMP I

11/18/13         

The Broken Family Effect: A Solution

One of the greatest problems in American society today is the effects of a broken family and the pain that comes from it. A broken family can be described as a nucleus that after a birth of a child is no longer together or functioning as a family. The broken family effect afflicts great pain into those involved. The pain can come from a divorce were parents split up and leave a family in rubble, a death were a family is left with a hole in their lives, or abandonment were anger swells from a family who feels betrayed. The pain from events listed before can be felt through all ages. Similarly, it is the longest felt pain in lives of those who are affected by it. It can be carried for years and never forgiven even to the point where a person may die with the pain. It also affects how people act, the pain will either lead the people to become stronger or harden and lead a life of disappointment. The disappointment and pain can lead to more divorce, higher criminal and depression rates. Death, divorce, and abandonment create a broken family and to solve the broken family effect, governmental services and classes need to be set up for death, divorce, and abandonment.

            Death is the loss of life from a human being which can be detrimental to families. When dealing with a death in the family, it can be different from circumstance to circumstance, but what isn’t different is the pain that is felt from the deaths. The best way to describe the pain is it feels like a hole is in the family in which someone is missing. The grief felt from losing a loved one hits each person differently in a family depending on how old and how expected the death was. The age group that had the hardest time dealing with the death of the love one is adolescents (Heath and Cole). And even more saddening according to statistics, in 2001, seventy- five percent of adolescents did not get the mental and emotional treatment they needed after a death of a family member (Heath and Cole). If a governmental service for the families who lose a loved one was set up with the job of monitoring the family and helping with the grieving process. Then families would be better equipped when losing a loved one.

            More specifically, the governmental service needs to include classes which cover as follows: the emotions that should be felt from death of the loved ones and which emotions are not healthy, how daily routines will be changed, and finally how emotions can lead to bad decisions. Families need to understand that the death of a loved one will be an emotional roller coaster, and they will need a lot of support. But at the same time they need to know if their emotions are taking control of them and their actions. If families would be given this tool to help them in the grieving of loved ones, then adolescents and all ages would not be mentally and emotionally under equipped to handle their circumstances which in turn would help heal the broken family effect from family to family and eventually to all of society.

            In divorce, families split and then sometimes get blended together into new families. An analogy to compare a divorce and remarriage is to have a train split between the front engine and the back. Then without turning either train around, try to combine each separate engine with another train engine; it leads to a train wreck. And most often, it is the kids who are the most innocent and hurt by divorce. Kids find themselves confused, hurt and sometimes left out. This tends to lead kids to find attention whether bad or good. According to the statistics, three out of every four adolescents in correctional facilities are from divorced homes (Price and Kunz). If a governmental service was provided to families that end up in divorce then the criminal rates of kids would be reduced.

            The governmental service would provide classes for the families that would enhance the knowledge of how divorce affects kids, how to separate with the least amount of pain in the kids’ lives, and how families mix together with the best results. The parents will know the negative effects on kids and do the best they can to relieve the kids of stress, pain, and self-blame that goes with parents splitting. The parents will understand that the less violent the split is the better it is for the kids. If the two adults act maturely and continually communicate for the kids’ sake, it will make the lives of the children easier. Parents will also understand the delicate details that go into mixing families. In other words, parents will know when to step in and step out of the decision making process of the new kids in the new family. This will bring less friction to the transition of a new family and hopefully bring healing in relationships. This will give kids people and places they can go and trust when they need help with life’s difficult challenges. Finally, when kids find peace through a divorce the crime rate will go down and so will the broken family effect.

            Abandonment is the act of a parental figure leaving kids’ lives and never returning to them; leaving them with whoever can take care of them. Abandoning a kid doesn’t always mean physically, it can happen emotionally as well. A synonymy for abandonment is neglect. Neglect can be described as not providing for a child as they need or completely ignoring them. An emotionally neglected child may have troubles when they are older to trust others and or form intimate relationships. If physically abandoned then the child might have the same tendencies as a parent to abandon their kids. In fact, statistics show that kids neglected or abandoned as a child have a higher chance to never find an intimate relationship, and if they do, they have a higher chance of abandoning that relationship (Colman and Widom). If a governmental service was given to the kids who suffered from neglect and abandonment, the chances of the grown kid abandoning or showing neglect to his kids could be reduced.

            In more detail, the governmental service would offer classes for the kids of society who have been abandoned and the class would teach as follows: how to deal with the pain of neglect, learn how to trust, and how to stand firm even though sometimes people break trust. The people who suffered neglect will learn that is not their fault that people neglected them. They will learn how to trust and know others trust them as well. They need to know how to trust to have more intimate relationships because it is hard to trust with the memory of pain of past neglectful relationships. They will also need to learn that relationships sometimes falter and no one is perfect. Trust is sometimes broken, but it can be earned back. The lessons learned from the class will help parents not neglect their children even if they themselves were neglected or abandoned. In turn, the parents will raise kids with a very emotionally strong relationship lessening the broken family effect on society.

            Some people have problems funding classes and people to monitor the families going through a broken family situation. First, it is worth it because it is making society better by putting better people on the streets. Secondly, money will be saved because fewer adolescents will be sent to prison saving the state money for each kid who doesn’t end up incarcerated. Some families have a problem with the government getting involved with their family matters. Well the government will or should be involved in these situations anyways so since there is no way around the government getting involved, this would just be an added figure to the government’s involvement. Overall there is no good reason why there should not be service to help broken families especially if is reduces the broken family effect on society.

            In conclusion, the formation of governmental services to help people who suffer from death of a family member, divorce, or abandonment will lessen the broken family effect on society. The monitoring done by the government will allow social services to step in and help kids and parents get through tough situations. Plus the classes given to the families will help them understand more the challenges they have ahead, but also how to get through them. Finally in the end it is up to society to take charge using the tools given to them by the government to defeat the broken family effect.

 

Works Cited

Colman, Rebecca A. and Cathy Spatz Widom. "Childhood abuse and neglect and adult
            intimate relationships: a prospective study." Child Abuse & Neglect 28.11 (2004),
            1133-1151.

Heath, Melissa Allen and Beth Vaughan Cole. "Strengthening classroom emotional
            support for children following a family member’s death." School Psychology
            International 33.3 (2012), 243-262.

Price, Cynthia and Jenifer kunz. "Rethinking the Paradigm of Juvenile Delinquency as
            Related to Divorce." Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 39.1/2 (2003), 109-135.